For many of us, Thanksgiving brings up painful memories--family hurts, alienation, and angst add to the macabre spectacle of murdering millions of sentient beings to simply have everyone pronounce their corpses "too dry." Oh, and add the misrepresentation and misplaced nostalgia around indigenous Americans, and it's enough to make you flip your construction paper feather headdress.
Working with ancestors is an opportunity to go deeper around holidays than family as we know them in this realm. (Talk about an "otherworldly religion"--nothing makes one long for another realm than a few minutes with one's family in this one!)
Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, or just waiting for an end to genocide and cultural appropriation, your ancestors can join you. Here are a few tips:
1. Ancestors (blood and ideological) can share concerns of all kinds. Remember to call in known and unknown ancestors who share in your vision of Thanksgiving.
2. Take advantage of having living ancestors gathered in one place. If you can get past Uncle Chester's MAGA hat, you may find someone who remembers your great grandparents and is a trove of stories.
3. Make offerings. Ancestors love a little something on their altar, and now is a good time to get a piece of the beloved family pumpkin pie or other specialty. Ancestors only need a small amount (and remember to leave it outside for animals or in a compost area when done). I recently snuck a small amount of a treasured family recipe out of a gathering. The dish is so popular it is hard to feed just the living attendees, and my family is not ready to hear about my ancestor altar. So, I insisted on taking a teaspoon-full size taste home to my "dog." (There are pictures of my departed dog on my altar, and my living guy enjoyed the serving after a couple of days--no need to lie!)
4. Celebrate alone! Small families (even of one) don't preclude celebration. Our ancestors are always with us--even when we feel alienated from family or when we don't choose to participate in the prevailing celebrations.
5. Travel. Living relatives may remember the location of homeplaces, burial sites, and the like--and you can map your way to those places over Thanksgiving or later in the year. Don't forget ancestors who may not be related by blood--a historical site or nature area can be a great way to pass the day if you don't celebrate with a living family (or cut out early for sanity!).
There is growing recognition of the need to forge new traditions that are more inclusive, less reliant on historical inaccuracy and cultural appropriation, and celebratory of non-blood ties. Remember ancestors can be an important part of moving forward into a more just and sustainable world while honoring those who got us this far.
Working with ancestors is an opportunity to go deeper around holidays than family as we know them in this realm. (Talk about an "otherworldly religion"--nothing makes one long for another realm than a few minutes with one's family in this one!)
Ancestors got the groove . . . might as well join them!
Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, or just waiting for an end to genocide and cultural appropriation, your ancestors can join you. Here are a few tips:
1. Ancestors (blood and ideological) can share concerns of all kinds. Remember to call in known and unknown ancestors who share in your vision of Thanksgiving.
2. Take advantage of having living ancestors gathered in one place. If you can get past Uncle Chester's MAGA hat, you may find someone who remembers your great grandparents and is a trove of stories.
3. Make offerings. Ancestors love a little something on their altar, and now is a good time to get a piece of the beloved family pumpkin pie or other specialty. Ancestors only need a small amount (and remember to leave it outside for animals or in a compost area when done). I recently snuck a small amount of a treasured family recipe out of a gathering. The dish is so popular it is hard to feed just the living attendees, and my family is not ready to hear about my ancestor altar. So, I insisted on taking a teaspoon-full size taste home to my "dog." (There are pictures of my departed dog on my altar, and my living guy enjoyed the serving after a couple of days--no need to lie!)
4. Celebrate alone! Small families (even of one) don't preclude celebration. Our ancestors are always with us--even when we feel alienated from family or when we don't choose to participate in the prevailing celebrations.
5. Travel. Living relatives may remember the location of homeplaces, burial sites, and the like--and you can map your way to those places over Thanksgiving or later in the year. Don't forget ancestors who may not be related by blood--a historical site or nature area can be a great way to pass the day if you don't celebrate with a living family (or cut out early for sanity!).
There is growing recognition of the need to forge new traditions that are more inclusive, less reliant on historical inaccuracy and cultural appropriation, and celebratory of non-blood ties. Remember ancestors can be an important part of moving forward into a more just and sustainable world while honoring those who got us this far.
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